31 Jul The Third Souvenir

Wars of past conflicts still constantly race within the corners of my mind, reminding me of all that once was and all that has changed since those day’s.  A chaotic yet brief time of reflection this has been, remembering all that was once lost and the pieces that still remain close to me till this day. It would be a lie to say that I am not bitter, for even now the sour taste of defeat runs across my tongue. But the feeling that is prominent now is of a smarter bitter, a wiser bitter, a feeling of acceptance mixed with a glimmer of hope of vengeance; a feeling that only an age of fates could bring about, and now, not a day goes by that I do not reflect on all that I had lost.

From deep inside, I know this is a time of a darker rising, a darker rising that will likely bring about the following of a darker fall. A fall that will seek to shake me to my core once more, swallowing up what left remains of me – much like what the Shadows seek to do now. For a great piece of me is nothing more than a stagnant man, one who in which watches the world go by. And though I may have learned much as the time has passed by, in the end I’m just a fucking souvenir. 

Despite what fragments of me seek to conform, I cannot as a whole be what they want me to be. I cannot gain what they have gained, nor could I know lose what they have lost; for when my defeat rose upon the setting sun, I lost everything. What remains of me now in this very moment is a soul still wandering In Between, however, just in great spaces. It is more focused, with a knowledge of a much darker night heading it’s way. It knows of the violent light it holds inside, as well as the fragile heart and fleeting time it has remaining. For what this soul desires is held by the shadows that lurk within corners of this place, shadows that will soon rise once again to steal the souvenirs I have recently come to know. I know now, oh no – I will not run from them. For while my breath may be slowing and my hope dwindling and my will fading – the remaining hope, hate, and vengeance that remains within this heart of mine shall give me the strength to seek out again what is meant to be mine.