11 Nov Member of Death

In a time between the arrival of the darkest nights and the settling in of Fates – darkness consuming and shadows devouring all the same, I now stand here – with the final flame in hand. The pain is immense, as this very flame carries the essence of hope, but as well as the promise that new life will bring – promise that can only be sustained with the destruction of everything. For ages, I have learned to come to terms with the way things are here – for ever since my arrival I had always seemed to understand the importance of the balance, the significance, as well as the calling itself. There are things that have come clear to me, while others are like a distant shimmering dream within a void that feels oh-so-familiar. These things that are distant, yet shimmering are much like the essence of you, something that had been brought forth upon your return, but has long since been reduced to almost nothing. It truly is much like I had once dreamed, it truly is all that I had imagined it to be. 

Now I’ve got guts, I have heard the void scream my name it’s essence is banging, and it’s echo is lingering, but despite it becoming a familiar pattern – it remains enticing to me all the same. The acceptance that I have come to know, the acceptance that was once presented to me upon a white and black platter during day’s of the confluence is an acceptance I have now taken as my own. It’s wisdom, it’s knowledge, it’s yearning fuels this flame to grow – and as such it has become much wider than I could have imagined. For here, I am alone, and in knowing this I have come closer to the line that has been drawing me in since I set foot within this place that I once knew to be the in between.  There is no hope left for the return of the light, for what remains here is the light of shadows, the light in which I was birthed in, the very last light that shall be ingrained within everyone’s mind as the end of this Advent begins to make it’s way in – for before these darkest hours arrive, this final twilight will be the first to meet it’s fate.

Violent twilight, you can blind my eyes but you cannot blind my soul. For what is dark and devouring cannot be infiltrated by what is bright and encompassing. I hold you in my hand, oh mighty imminence, for much like I had once done the shadows bidding, you will now do mine so long as you remain under my control. For during these times I shall be ostracized and misunderstood, overlooked, and ridiculed – much like during the ages similar to what lead us to now, similar to what lead us to contracts that have long since been expired. There is a fracture from within that speaks of words of this always having been written, whilst other fractures try and convince that this line and all that follows is merely a self-fulfilling prophecy, even now I am not for certain – but in this uncertainty I have found a temper, an anger, a resistance that has lead me to where I stand now, that has lead me out of the Hollows and into what is now a time of Fates.

For now, I have let go of uncertainty, for where there is no fear, there is no resistance in the direction I choose to take with what remains of this so-called Destiny that I behold. Screaming to the universe, it remains silent, calling out to those who were once ordered to guide me, that have long since abandoned, and now as cold night air begins to settle in, I am alone – and I shall take hold of the matter. For what remains of the answers and directions that I seek I will claim and find for myself, for it is the only road that remains ahead and the only road that I know. Since the day’s of the exile, neither life nor death have yearned for me, but now, each shall bend to my will. For now during these times, it shall be my soul that takes whole, my soul that will take control, and my soul that will seek to carve out a fate against fates during these fleeting day’s. For I have done my best to serve this whole, but something’s off. And now, I will do whatever it takes to break this down with the flames I have acquired- and will leave it to a light, a true light to build it up again.