31 Dec Epicenter of The Dark Pool

Burning, the feeling of having your eyes close shut tight but they remain restless all the same. The only thing they are able to muster up in these moments are visions of a time that no longer exists, and cloudy dreams of how I had always yearned for things to be. A faulty attribute on my part, for dreaming has lead me to nothing but despair, and an awakening to a reality that exists to enslave and abuse for it’s own gain. My eyes fly open for my breath is fleeting every so heavily with each passing moment, things are not the same here as they once were. These waters are dark, but tinted in a red hue that was not present before – this vessel, still pulling pulled rapidly downward, but at the same time seemingly going nowhere, my mind is lost in these moments – but my heart tells me that I have reached the epicenter of what I have come here to find.

I can see these neon shapes shimmer from all around from the inside of this vessel, upon each glance, they spin my mind into a new world, into a cold and deepened sleep, one that leads me to visions of a void that consumes like non-other, one that leads me to a darkness that is even darker than these darkest nights I have come to know within this pool. It is all something not of this place, something not of this world. A feeling sinks deep within my soul that with the time that has passed since my free-fall into this dark pool, what I once knew to be the in between has been completely consumed, devoured by echoes and shadows alike – for I know await in a place, in a sense, outside of the time I once knew, and outside of a time I will never be meant to know. My body shakes at these shimmering fates, for with each pass by they flood my mind with things I was never meant to see, and things I have always known, it is a process of too much information, but alas – all I can do is surrender.

These neon shapes call out to me in screaming that the path downward is blocked, that what remains past this point within this dark pool is a point of no return, a point where all sense of self begins to crumble and fold into one, a point that I now wield the power and the choice to reach. In a moment that feels like a split second in time, acceptance like none other has begun to flood through the cells that remain within my body, visions of summits far above clouds, and dark and rainy streets flood my mind – as well as an infinite draw, a enticing pulling towards the point of no return that exists just below me, spiraling in neon colors. I can feel a pulling at my skin so violent that blood begins to shed, in a sense, I am being born anew in the water – for this vessel has begun to crack uncontrollably. This is without a doubt, the end of me. For I can feel, my heart, body, and mind all leaning into a state of carelessness and disarray in knowing what lies below.