27 Sep Dreaming of the Void

I have begun to dream of the void again. A place where I can drift, though not without consequence. It is a place that holds all of the past, all of the violence, burning shadows of its own – and the Fates I had once oh so desperately tried to avoid. But now, as the acceptance for things that I am in which not all too ready to discuss has settled in, I know that soon I must go there – though this time I am not scared.

During these desperate and trying day’s, I have begun to be blinded by a light – a light that has in which followed me since I could ever remember. It is not pure in essence, though at the same time it is not corrupted. It speaks of startings of embers and stages of discoveries that shall lead me to where I am yet to be, that will lead me to a trial like none other. When I close my eyes, when my mind lets go of all that I long for – I can see who I truly am deep down inside, I can see what I have lost and what I have yet to lose, I can see all that was once taken away from me lay lifeless at the bottom of some dark and violent sea. 

We do not have to suffer. Though it has seemingly been chosen for us. We feed and feed this pain as if it is our only provider, as if it is the only lifeline keeping us at bay. But now, even for me, the wounds have begun to grow deeper, infected by the everyday cycle of failure, infected by shadows that march and burn all that’s in its path to the ground. I have seen this all before. It was when I turned cold, it was was when I went dark, it was when I met the void that eventually meets us all.