08 Sep The Burning Shadows

When we all end up rapidly drifting off to sleep, as the harsh warmth of a day full of new traumas begin to subside; the cold, much like so of what I once dreamt of in the water, seeps through the seals of my windows – it in and of itself is sentient and it’s spell so transient and gentle you would know not of the damage it has done until a much darker hour sets in. But it is not the spell alone which causes such mischief, such chaos as time races down the road, but instead it’s mixture with the violent ray’s which burned brightly across the sky during the edge of the previous day. These rays are our callings, they are pillars which speaks secret words of our fates, they are weapons casted by the Gods who, though not immortal, shall always likely be wiser than us.

Now I’ve taken my steps back time and time again, once from watching you slowly wither away in hopes of achieving your greatest dreams, and once again when I, myself, exiled from a future I had longed for eras; and now, it seems it is all happening again. I watched you suffer for what you desired most, and I felt you vanish for what was likely to be the same thing – perhaps I will never know, but a calling at the end demands me to find the answers I seek. For at the time of the calling of the fates, Shadows had begun to rise, and now they march violently across this place – no longer hiding In Between structures and constructs I once quickly made my way past. They are now seeking claim to all things that they wish to be there’s, and ridding the useless who will be harder to find during much darker nights. I know not yet of my place in all of this, but I do know of what must be done next.

Upon my awakening throughout these day’s of beckoning Fates, I learn even more of all which is now currently at stake. For since the exile, I have lost much and have gained little – but despite this, I ultimately sense that a time has come in all of this where I am closing in on what I once reached before, where I am closing in on the point where all of this will happen again, one last time. Perhaps I overestimate the nature of the violent cycles which have so prevalently made themselves known throughout this journey. Or perhaps that despite in all of my efforts to rid ever last ounce of fear within my bones – that it still remains present, hiding away, reverberating, effecting all that I am. From the way I see it, the hope that we hold is not wide enough to initiate the fate of fears, it is now strong enough to over-power the shadowed hand that grasps us within the darkened hours of the night, it is not mighty enough to march against the army of burning shadows which marches against us now. We, as a whole, are not yet strong enough.

These shadows in essence are not my enemy alone. Nor are they your’s. They are instead the result of a time, a line, a reality bent against our will, a reality that exists for reasons I have not yet begun to comprehend, but even despite this all, they still march against us, and they still seek war. War that I feel will go on until the rise of a new sun, war that will wage until the dawn of a new Advent, an era which will bestow the rest that I seek. But I know that until this time takes place, a Twilight much more violent that what I have come to know of eras past, and a night much darker than what I had previously met is yet to come. I feel the beckoning of unfathomable loss, shame, and hopelessness that awaits around every darkened corner – for the future that I am to step inside of is a future of Fates, a future where so much that was left unknown will be answered, a future where a final decision will be made.

Time and time again, I find myself asking the same questions. What will it take to rise above these shadows that spread violent fires across these lands. What will it take to meet this fire I desire myself, what will it take to find the answers that have plagued my shaken mind for so long. It is the acceptance of fate that I once knew during a period of confluences that can ultimately lead me to the fire, it is the binding of light and dark that will unveil the hidden answers that plague my mind, it is the knowing duality that will lead me peacefully into the fate that awaits us all, and it is the shadows that burn so violently that turned out to be my guides towards this final crusade.