19 Dec The Vessel from Valhalla

I am now quickly becoming punished by the pressuring, yet fleeting and fragile time that remains within this line. As you know all to well, I have long since dove backwards into this dark pool, the last remaining body of water within this place I once knew to be the In Between, this place that has since been devoured by shadows and blackness alike, a place that is ultimately no more. I am continuously sinking downwards, bones aching from the waters pressure as well as the pressuring fleeting time all the time – my breath shortening for I know in these moments my life in spilling into the next, however despite this, I keep living. During these hours, the contemplation of giving in has become so much more stronger than ever before, for I have now begun to seriously considering the act of giving in, but not giving up. For now, I am so far underneath, channeling this hate while also receiving these channeling’s of misconception of my whereabouts and current states. There is no solace or peace left in these remaining moments, and the water caresses all that I am in a viscous fashion.

The time to repair what has been broken throughout this dying Advent has long since past, and the time to change what has long since been set into motion within this shattered line is now far gone. Though these traces of desperation that still exist within my weakened heart still seek to find their places within this reality, the truth is that the only place waiting for them is not of this world – for I cannot mend what has already been sealed by fate. I know during these darkest hours that I must give in, that I must fully and truly accept with every ounce of energy left available to me that there is no future left in this, that all I hold is desires that will lead to nowhere, and dreams that were always meant for sleeping, solely – never fated to be manifested or held as true. For deep down inside, I have always known that this was where I was always going to be, and even more so longed to be – but eventually everything plays out is course. There is no purpose nor meaning left in this experience that has been bestowed upon me, for I know that once these fires that burn from beneath run their course and meet their final fates, I will be consumed, and I will be no more.

I have no closed my eyes beneath this blackened waters that I never fathomed could pierce this deep into my soul. These waters sense, read, and predict of futures displayed in visions of what remains after death of this all comes to place. My mind flashes of vast lands of ice and snow, dwindling fires, and frigid peaks that lead to death – similar to what I once knew from the day’s of the Ice Cave but much more vast in scale. This is all hidden by cloaked shadows all the same, shadows that scream to me demands of shedding my skin, creating a path to the end of this body, enticing me to rise free – from the loss and the wake. My heart beats rapidly as my body refuses to move, my arms seem to spread by a force out of my control, likewise my legs as they cross as if I am being tied to an anchor. It is in these fragile moments I am realizing that I am accepting and readying for these fates that are now taking place – and heading towards the final fate that lies at the core of these darkest nights, at the core of this dark pool. I can sense a veil, a vessel of sorts claiming hold of all that I am, it resonates a feeling of fate and hate all the same, it’s bitterness feels similar to what I once held, but am now letting go of. This 9th sleep, now yearning to provide me with sharp flashes of what I lose and secret passages ways to the escape that I have yearned strongly for, for oh-so long. Though I am trapped in a vessel going nowhere, whilst lost and alone within this dark pool; I know it is for the better, for now even I refuse to seek out love that binds. Though there is nothing left to love, nor nothing left to lose during these moments – I know such a force would undo the sturdy work that is now being done within this vessel to make me feel as complete as I could possibly feel during these nights of dread – during these nights where all is ending.