20 Dec To Wield Death, A Catalyst

I have seemingly become quickly enveloped by this ever-evolving vessel that has since devoured me, this vessel that is like a ruin from Valhalla in it’s own way. It traps me, encompasses me, preparing me and changing me – quickly, for this transition that is at hand, and one of the last I am likely to ever experience. I am left inside of this vessel isolated, alone, kept company only by the voices in my head. But even they see me for the trapped and vulnerable state that I am, and so they have begun to take control – locking me out of the control that I sought to have for so long, as they watch and whisper to me as I descend further into this dark pool. But the more changes that begin to take place, the more quickly I have begun to adapt to my faults at hand, my own fleeting fears that were left within small, tight crevices during the time of the fearless. In a sense, I have grown less attached, less caring, less here, less existent – for in this moment things are getting dangerous.

I try to speak reason with these voices in my head, reason that in all honesty, I do not know where it derives from. For these voices have talking heads of their own, heads they hold minds which have seen the coming and going, the lying and the fleeting of much I have witnessed throughout these eras and ages alike. I try to speak reason with them, but it seems their reason is greater, for while I seek to seep my way back into control, the more loud their voices reverberate, and the more forceful their pushes become. This vessel, this process, this state within this evolution and acceptance alike has given me privilege to a catalyst I had never held before, fully. A catalyst that will allow me to take control, forcefully, into my own hands – for as long as I obtain the knowledge of what may follow. But these voices speak doubt into me, they speak doubt into me with reasons of their own.

Repeating numbers during these fragile times never seem to cease, and will my every impulsive desires seemingly being shut down by these voices in my head, my eyes are shut tighter as I know this surrender, this release, this acceptance all the same will bring me to where the fates had always meant to bring me. This veil has become to wear into a thinning state much more unimaginable than I could have ever fathomed. For I can sense the true void piercing into my lines like the edge of a blade piercing through my skin – with my blood, my life, spilling into the next. Fleeting thoughts lead me to reason that I was never meant to feel like the rest of them, to tread down the same path like the rest of them, for a void has always strongly called out my name, but alas – during these fragile times I refuse use the catalyst to escape this vessel-trance, eyes now broken towards receiving any sense of light or direction, mind now being taken over by the voices in my head – my true surrender has begun.